Everybody Hurts

Do you know the feeling when it seems that if you'd disappear right this second no one would notice? No one would even care.. Everyone would go about their business as usual and that one disappearance wouldn't have the slightest effect in their life. Well if you know that feeling, then you know how I'm feeling right now. Have been for a while. It makes you feel very small and insignificant.

I actually did vanish for a while, just to see what would happen. Guess what? Nothing happened. Nobody even noticed. How sad is that? Or which one is sadder, that no one noticed or that I think I have to find out who really care by leaving them.

I don't wanna sound whiny and selfish, I know other people have their lives and everything doesn't revolve around me. But it would sometimes be nice to know that you're not alone. And yeah I know I have family and friends who care, but it would still be nice sometimes to come first. Really come first, like there's no one more important than you. I guess the sad thing is that last time that happened, it didn't lasted as long as it took to notice that someone next to me was prettier, funnier, thinner, wiser or something else that I wasn't. I guess we all just wanna matter to someone really.

I just wish that for once I wouldn't have to be the one who stands tall and is the rock when everyone else falls... And what makes it even sadder is that I don't think I could fall anymore really. Don't know how to do that anymore.


To sum it up. There's dialogue from a movie that is sort of about the same thing. Whether it's the same thing or not, I can relate to it. They are talkin about guys mostly but I think the point comes a cross anyway.

-- I mean girls that look like you don’t understand. You know I always think like if I lost ten pounds or wore different clothes or got new boobs, that it would make a difference but I know the truth.

- Sorry but it’s bullshit! You’re the smartest person that I know. When I see you helping those homeless guys that no one can even look at. You make everyone around you happy. You have so much to offer. And say you don’t because of how you look is just total bullshit.

- I didn’t say I don’t have lot to offer. I said that people will never know because they don’t see me. How many proms did you miss because no one asked you? How many times have your friends left you sitting alone at a club while they went danced with guys? Or how many times has a customer completely ignored you to get a better look at me? So until that happens, until you’re told time and time again that you’re place in life is in the background don’t tell me it’s bullshit. Because you don’t know. --